The Five Most Dangerous Lies
What could happen if…You stopped believing in lies?
“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid.” ~Richard Bach
Lies are impeding your life. False beliefs, outdated ideas, unchallenged stories and scripts that are getting in the way of all that you say you want and most desire. These ideas become habituated responses to any new plans or goals, and when left unchallenged, maintain status quo, with no chance of escape. Many of them are perpetuated in society or worn as a badge of honor: I don’t have enough time, I’m too old or it's too late and on they go. We nod in robotic agreement, consent and continue to idly peruse what are other people are doing, by scrolling endlessly through Facebook. Isn’t it time we told the truth, what could happen if you were completely honest with yourself, challenged these falsehoods and told a more accurate story?
You might realize your dreams! Well, you'll certainly be a lot closer, experience more joy and curiosity in life and will have learned something and met interesting people along the way.
You'll build confidence. Confidence comes from taking risks and this means feeling afraid and doing it anyway. These lies or limiting beliefs are a protective mechanism that allow us to stay safe. But they also encourage us to play smaller than we want and to resist change and to stay stuck.
Experience more day-to-day satisfaction and joy. Working On Purpose, with intention, with the aim of affirming your value and creating positive feelings every day comes from actively participating in doing something to reinforce what you want to believe.
Recognize, challenge and reframe the beliefs. Beliefs are simply a thought you've had over and over again until you “convinced” yourself and lived like it were true. What if you had another, healthier, more empowering thought over and over until it was just as true? There are a handful of beliefs that I hear time and again and when their feet are put to the fire, they give in faster than you can say, mercy.
“We speak about losing our minds as if it is a bad thing. I say, lose your mind. Do it purposefully. Find out who you really are beyond your thoughts and beliefs. Lose your mind, find your soul.” ~ Vironika Tugaleva
1. I don’t have time? Really? Sometimes maybe, but as an ongoing mantra of why you cannot exercise, go to school, phone a friend, hmm... maybe time to challenge this one? If it is important to you, you will (and historically) have found time – the newest episode of Mad Men, no problemo, but 30 minutes to work on your book, too busy.
2. I don’t know enough. Sure and you never will. There is always more to learn and people who know more. Granted if you are a first year medical student, open heart surgery requires a touch more experience and knowledge, but the endless game of needing to be perfect or more experienced means we would never practice, improve, or in theory have any surgeons. I see this play out when people do not apply for the job, start a company or share what they know. Someone, somewhere will benefit – put yourself out there and see what happens.
3. I am too old or it is too late. Google people in their eighties going back to school, climbing Mount Everest, learning to read, taking up a hobby or starting a business – they aren't urban myths, they exist! There may be modifications to the dream or goal, however some part of your interest and passions can be explored – the choice is yours.
4. I don’t have enough money. Maybe not all of it and not right now, but there's a starting place, a creative solution, long-term planning and support. As the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day.” How could you start today?
5. Success is the opposite of failure. No, no and no. As one of my instructors, Sandy Newbigging said, “In life, you either get the results you wanted or the reasons you didn’t.” Failure is feedback and information. Success is a process of adapting to this feedback, taking steps, enjoying the journey and unfolding more and more each day.
“You do not need to become courageous, but rather peel back the layers of self-protective, limiting beliefs that keep you small.” ~ Vironika Tugleva
The core beliefs under all of these falsehoods are along the vein of, I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, I'm not smart enough, other’s will be mad, nothing every works for me and so on. Wherever you're holding back, pay attention to the inner dialogue: I wish I could, I would love to but you never do. What did you tell yourself that stopped you before you even started? This is the “lie” the outdated belief, the myth - challenge it and ask, is it true? How's this helping me? Hindering me? What could I believe instead? Start saying that over and over and taking small, consistent steps to enforce it, and watch what could happen if… you moved beyond belief!