5 Secrets To Self-Confidence
Updated: May 13
Self-confidence can be built by mindset, and actions that safeguard your value, and through choices that cause you to stretch, and therefore grow. So, what do people who have true self-confidence do?
When we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit” ~E.E Cummings
1. THEY CHALLENGE THE LIES
They tell the truth. The internal voice of self-persecution is dealt with swiftly and compassionately. They don't allow themselves to live in fear; they square up and take reality as it is, and as it comes. They don't allow themselves to become a victim of their own negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs; they square up to those as well.
Your Turn: See your life and yourself as you are, right now. Own it, and grow from it. Change negative self-talk and take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions.
“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!” ~Robert T. Kiosaki
2. THEY STOP TRYING TO FIX THEMSELVES
They embrace who they are. They learn about their strengths, what energizes them, and they stop trying to fix weaknesses. If your life is aggressively organized around what makes you feel good, your weaknesses become a footnote.
Your Turn: Identify when you feel your best. Do more of this and less of the things that drain your energy. Own what makes you tick and let it shine. Self-acceptance is one of the keys to self-confidence.
3. THEY DON'T NEED TO PLEASE
Tuned into their values and what they need, they don't desire to win favor or approval from others by disregarding their own needs. They offer themselves generously, and love to connect, but never at the expense of self-respect and self-care.
Your Turn: Know what you want, what you value and what you need: rest, honesty, fun, a phone call before they pop over? Graciously express this and live by it.
4. THEY OWN THEIR MISTAKES AND THEY ROLL WITH THEIR FAILURES
They know that mistakes are inevitable and see them as a worthwhile cost to taking risks and trying new things. They own up, apologize, make amends, learn from it and move on. Failure becomes a breeding ground for growth and fostering compassion, not a notch on the, “look at how much I suck” belt.
Your Turn: Take responsibility, drop the victim-hood and don't blame. What did you do? What could you have done? What did you learn? Failure isn't a reason to stop; it's a message to re-evaluate and approach things in a new way. Celebrate the failures as an indication of a life challenged and well-lived.
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale
5. THEY AVOID THE, I LOOK GOOD, THEREFORE I FEEL CONFIDENT TRAP
They don't base their confidence on the external, the malleable and shift-able, such as: appearance, weight, money, relationships. Their confidence is based on excellent self-care, self-acceptance, and the recognition of their strengths, and the building of their skills. They respect their bodies and care for it because of what it allows them to do and feel, and they enjoy the expression of it. Size, age and bank account balance don't erode or foster self-confidence. Instead, their self-confidence compels them to make the choices, and take the actions that affirm their value and worth.
Your Turn: Take care of yourself, eat well, exercise and honor your body. Take time each day to express gratitude for what your body does for you, how it functions. Enjoy moving it, dressing it, loving with it, creating with it. Hold your head up and own it. True self-confidence, the kind you can’t buy in a store, receive from someone else, lose enough weight to find or make enough money to attain, comes from accepting yourself, taking risks and living your life in a way that honors who you are, not who you think you should be or wish you were.
Confidence comes from taking risks and seeing that you can survive, and better yet, thrive. Self-confidence is an active state, and is the acceptance of yourself, and your place in the world based on who you are are, not just what you do. It's the practice of honoring, growing, and supporting yourself as you journey through life.
How can you become more confident today?
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