How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Updated: Jun 6, 2018
Comparing yourself to others? We all do it, and will continue to from time to time - I wish I had, or I wish I looked like, was as good as, smart as, talented as, thin as, fit as, pretty as, fun as... It can be an endless parade of, if only I had that, or was that, then I would be happier, or so the story goes.
There is a fine line between admiration and competition, appreciation and comparison, and knowing the line can be huge relief, and a big step on the path to personal freedom. What could happen if you stopped crossing the line?
You'll focus on you. You'll live your life. Your strengths, talents and skills often go underappreciated and undervalued as you are coveting that which you wish you were, rather than developing that which you are. No two people are exactly alike therefore you must stop comparing apples to oranges. It's uneven, unfair and ultimately, unnecessary.
You'll feel more connected to others. Comparisons lead to resentments – why not me, why do they get to? This creates a state of competition and blocks willingness to connect and create meaningful relationships.
You'll live in the present. You'll stop somedaying your life away; waiting for the moment when you have this, or look like that, or have achieved xyz in order to be fulfilled or satisfied. You'll make choices in the present, and no longer waste time wondering, but will get down to the business of wielding.
“Comparison is the death of joy.” ~Mark Twain
APPRECIATE. Learn to give praise and genuinely recognize the contributions of others. See people for what they offer, rather than what you perceive they're taking from you. Another person’s success, skills, smarts or talents don't rob you of yours, or make yours less valuable.
BE MOVED. Be inspired and motivated by a life well lived. Recognize that the very thing you covet in others, is a signal to you that you want to grow, or experience more or different or new in your life. You're not in competition with them, you're in admiration. Use it.Learn from it. Thank it. Let it lift and guide you, not limit and frustrate you. Be moved - means just that - be moved to action.
CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS. Take time to acknowledge the risks you're taking, choices you've made, accomplishments you're proud of, and areas where you've grown. Stop waiting to get there or to be perfect or to be as good as! You must give yourself credit and celebrate the steps you take each day.
GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Read the clues of your comparisons. When you're comparing, you're believing that someone else has the magic formula to the feelings you most wish you were experiencing. You don't have to wait or dramatically change every aspect of your life in order to feel happiness or gratitude today. Find ways to promote these feelings here and now.
CREATE A LIFE OF VALUE. Understand what's really important to you. What really matters to you? What do you value? Live your life orientated around these things. When you're living your life based on what's most significant to you, you won't be comparing yourself to others, but caring about others. You won't be jealous, but developing and growing with others. You won't be resentful, you'll be relishing in their success, and yours. You'll be living your life On Purpose; intentionally creating the connection, contribution, community and quality that you desire. You'll be living a life of No Comparison!