The Fine Line Between Inspiration and Deflation

We Can Be Our Own Worst Enemy

We know comparisons can be unhelpful, unhealthy, and downright deflating. When we look at someone else’s life, career, family, work, or progress, we often turn it against ourselves. Rather than feeling inspired, we let it intimidate us, treating it as proof that we’re behind, not as good, or will never make it.

Here’s where we're our own worst enemy: when this comparison turns into self-judgment. There's a difference between saying, “I can learn something from this person,” and saying, “I'll never be as good as this person, so why bother.” One inspires. One deflates.

Comparison itself isn’t bad; it can give us information and possibilities, expose us to new ideas, and help us recognize areas where we might want something more. But there's a fine line…

The Fine Line

Life's full of things that are necessary in the right amounts and harmful when we cross the line. We need water, but too much can be dangerous. Our bodies require nutrients, yet even vitamins and minerals can be harmful in excess. We need rest, exercise, discipline, independence, connection, and on and on.

Often, the difference between something helping us and hurting us is dosage. I think the same holds emotionally and psychologically. A certain amount of self-reflection helps us grow, but too much can become rumination. High standards can push us toward excellence, but taken too far, they become perfectionism. Awareness of others’ work, ideas, and paths can teach and motivate us; however, too much attention to what everyone else is doing can pull us away from our own goals and sabotage progress.

And when we cross the line, we’ll know by how we start to think and feel about ourselves, and whether we’re prompted to right action or whether we stall.

We can listen to what comparison is telling us without letting it drain us. Envy is useful when it points to a desire, to something you want to pursue. Maybe discouragement is telling you that you've spent too much time consuming and not enough time creating. Maybe resentment reveals that you’re measuring yourself against someone whose circumstances, priorities, past, or skills are entirely different from yours.

Inspiration or Deflation?

I often see this fine line among people whose success depends, at least in part, on their ability to express themselves. Creators. Artists. Writers. Designers. Entrepreneurs. Anyone developing a recognizable style, voice, philosophy, or brand. These professions require them to pay attention to others, to some degree. To study good work and notice trends. We can all learn from those who are further ahead. The problem happens when we cross the line and inspiration quietly becomes imitation, and admiration can turn into self-doubt.

You might start to hear yourself thinking, "Why didn’t I think of that?" or "I’m not very good at this." That thinking and feeling can be useful if they inspire a new approach, action, and therefore an outcome; they can be deflating if they cause you to procrastinate, give up, or sabotage your goals.

Of course, this comparison line isn't limited to creative work. Parents wonder whether they're doing as well as other parents. Employees compare titles. People look around at others and mentally take inventory: marriage, children, house, retirement savings, fitness, vacations, accomplishments.

If someone’s work or life makes you curious or eager to begin, maybe with a little envy sprinkled in, you’re probably on the inspiration side of the line. If it leaves you feeling inadequate or tempted to abandon what makes you distinctly you, you may have crossed into deflation.

We're not going to avoid comparisons, so we need to adjust what we do with what we see, and to recognize when we’ve crossed the line from being inspired by someone else to feeling diminished by them.

If comparison has crossed the line from motivating you to making you doubt yourself, contact me today to schedule a free consultation and talk about how to get back on your own path.

If we haven’t met before, I’m Shawna Campbell, a Life Coach on a mission to help you change your mind to change your life. Learn more about me and what I do at www.shawnacampbell.com

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