Do you know what it means to love yourself? Some people believe that love's an outside experience; a gift bestowed on them by others, and a feeling created because of who they are and what they give to someone else. I sense there's a faulty understanding that self-love equals feeling good about yourself, all the time, therefore some try to meet that feeling of self-love through self-indulgence, rather than self-care and self-acceptance. Filling every whim and need and desire because they love themselves, deserve it and it makes them feel better. External fillers, for an internal need.
The inability to love yourself leaves you in a precarious position. It requires people pleasing, self-denial and the ongoing reassurance from others that you're worthy. A lack of self-love can lead to accepting poor behavior, settling for less, or giving too much. Self-love is fulfilled by practicing reverence for yourself and life. It's both an outer body experience; a connection to your life and your journey, and an inner experience of connecting to your needs, desires and true nature.
“Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” ~Gary Zukav
How Do You Demonstrate Self-Love?
Well, because it's not synonymous with feeling good, it often means ignoring first impulses, quick reactions and easy solutions in the service of optimal self-care. It's neither arrogance, nor the denial of flaws or challenges. It's caring for yourself despite your lack of perfection. Self-love is respect and is demonstrated in the day-to-day care of your body, mind and soul . It's saying no when it's uncomfortable, committing when you want to give up and risking when you're afraid, all with the purpose of connecting to, and expressing more of who you are.
True self-love is a dynamic and active state of knowing and growing oneself, and then advocating for your life with compassion, and a connection to your humanness.
You can tell when you're in-love with yourself, by the love you're able to unconditionally express through thought and deed. No expectation. No specific results required. Nothing needed from your outpouring. You'll know because your happiness and worth won't be based on anything external or anyone else’s approval. When we dare to let the walls down, to know and cherish ourselves, despite our human faults, we also open the door to bonding in a more authentic, empathetic, intimate way with the people in our lives.
Today, I hope you will take a minute to connect with your first and forever love – yourself.
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